“It appears that I’m a continual being of sin– I’m here for the music, and here I am indulging too much in chattering away! No moment spent speaking to all of you is a waste, but I must return to my duties! Now, I know that it is the red planet, and is therefore more in Osomatsu’s jurisdiction, and yet I must ask a question. The subject is simple: Life on Mars!”

((Either the sound quality was scratchy or warped. I chose scratchy, because the original pitch just soooooars.))

He keeps his determined Guilt Guy façade for the first verse, yet it crumbles into something gentler after the silver screen is mentioned, something more tender, more honest. His higher notes all but tremble through the first chorus in something sympathetic and sad, but the final chorus is better with a need to fulfill a certain someone’s legacy. From what public has seen (and heard, my, my, what a difference) of him, it’s decidedly not quite Karamatsu. Something new has come to light today.

Karamatsu comes back to himself as the strings go quiet, hurriedly scrubbing away his tears and, he knows he shouldn’t, but he puts his sunglasses back on. “What a–” that’s not his usual, he coughs as he pulls his deeper tone back into place. “What a man, what a legend!”

Our loving sapphire! Karamatsu~ Dearest Prince Charming, tell us, how has your day been so far, and did you name your guitar? Mine’s name is Melody, maybe you could help your loving angels sometime and gather us for an online group session? Playing and singing would be lots of fun with youu~~! Lots of love, a big fan <3 <3

“With the overwhelming amount of asks I’ve received, my soul is soaring like a jet! As for my guitar, I’ve named my dear guitar after the muse Euterpe! I had a bit of a fascination with Greek mythology at the time, and nothing fits better than the being who reigns over music, yes? It actually managed to help me bond a bit with Ichiko, our darling vocal coach: she’s named her favorite piano after Persephone!” He swoons in his seat jut a bit… but not over Ichiko, apparently. “Persephone. What a goddess.”

“What does that make all of you of you?” a sad and lonely pinecone mostly. BUT ANYWAY. is that the best you can do? Come on kara, that was weak af. Get your own material and don’t just flip mine and say “what does that make you,” u friggin scrub.

@negi-nar There’s a hand placed gingerly over his heart again. “A scrub? Unless I am mistaken, a scrub is a rapscallion unworthy of someone’s affections who catcalls random women from moving vehicles, and that is as far as one can get from the image I’ve attempted to present! I merely wished to say that if I was beyond belief, then my lovely, precious, absolutely spectacular fanbase would take it several steps further! You’re all beings of such utter divinity and kindness that it would drive the strongest mind to insanity attempting to comprehend how people so wonderful could exist!” He lurches forward, finally taking a deep breath before leaning toward the mic, making absolutely certain that he is heard. “You all drive me absolutely mad, and every instant is bliss.”

Kara, do you have any guilty pleasures that aren’t flowery and sparky? It’d be nice to know about the tamer side of you, like dont you ever sit and watch spongebob or something?

“I do apologize, anon, for I refuse to be taken in any aspect! I simply need time to recharge once in a while.” You’re getting a different, dramatically splayed stance for each idea. “There’s always people watching, wondering about the lives they’ve lived and the loves they’ve chased. I also have my moments with my guitar in rooftops and balconies, those moments where my youngest brother and I get along exceptionally well and sit in the bathroom or somewhere cavernous and sing our hearts out, thanked by the returning, resounding echoes that bounce back to us. I write, I practice, I write poetry.” He ends the posefest looking somewhere between a shonen protagonist and a 50s pinup. “I find joy in the simple pleasures life brings!” Right on cue is the obvious crack and fizz of a Canta being opened. “I occasionally fear that good sir SquarePants has taken things too far, but, alas. His production staff will not allow him to rest. He has my pity. A drink to him!”

karamatsu, my dazzling diamond, my prince of prose, how exactly does that sparkling thing work??? is it sweat?? is it body glitter?? is it your charming personality??

He seems absolutely thrilled to talk about it. “Actually, it’s a bit of a fusion of old cartoon hammerspace and special effects and more recent techniques in today’s anime! We’ve had plenty of experience and practice with both, you see. Combine the old fashioned in love floaty hearts and mid-fight dust clouds and sparks with modern twinkles, flowers, and spotlights, and voilà!”

Suddenly, sunlight seems to pour in from every window, shimmers swirl around him like a snow globe, and where did that rose in his teeth come from? “You have us now! I simply exert myself a bit more when it comes to this sort of thing.”

Karamatsu Matsuno, I did not wait this long to see for you to wear sunglass during the entirety of you stream. Come now, let’s see those dark chocolate spheres you call your eyes. The softness, the sweetness in them harmonizes with with the sharpness of your strong eyebrows, leaving your face with in perfect balance of gentleness and fortitude. Not to mention, looking into them is like looking directly into heaven 💙. Remove the those ebony shields of glass that only eclipse natures greatest beauty and lemme see those eyes, homeboy.

(sorry this is in the submission box :v im in the hospital for a meeting and i didn’t have time to chop it up for ask)

[Submitted by Tumblr user @negi-nar! It’s no problem, i wish you all the best with your meeting.]

Karamatsu has two false starts before he pushes said sunglasses up and monologues. “How cruel I’ve been to deprive such wonderful people of a sight that is, er, apparently… really important to them.” That was not his cool guy voice, he’s gonna force that back, “Really, when asked so kindly, what choice do I have but to relent? My only wish is to make my fans happy, and I shall do whatever it takes.”

One deep breath, and he pulls them off, quickly tucking them into the collar of his shirt. Get that tenseness out of your eyebrows, lean in, be casual. “Although, I must say, if my eyes are nature’s greatest beauty,” he smiles in what he thinks is a rakish, devilish fashion as he looks into the camera, “what does that make all of you?”