//OSO FANS, LISTEN TO THIS: WHAT IF WE DON’T SEND OSO ANY DIRTY ASKS JUST TO TORTURE HIM SINCE ALL HIS BROTHERS GOT PLENTY OF ‘EM. LET’S DO IT// //lol sorry this isn’t kara related i just thought this’d be really funny for McFuckboi//

((guys
He will d i e please for the sake of my brain give him at least a few
He will legit whine until he gets some
Gee Choro why did mom let you have 24 hours of thirst
Make his family ashamed again))

*pulls out a wedding ring* i love you

Karamatsu just stopped crying. Let’s get really shojo, sparkly tears are a go. “Anonymous! I am truly, truly sorry that I cannot pledge my heart to someone so dedicated– to do so would break hundreds of hearts as well as my contract!” He’s just about whining now. “Know that I adore you as well, and that you deserve someone who can be there for you and be able to declare their love to the world!”

Karamatsu, could you please sing “You’re Gonna Go Far Kid” by The Offspring?! Kara, you have the most handsome voice in the entire history of the Earth, hearing you sing this would be a dream come true!!

“Oh, anonymous, I’m afraid that my last two songs were already chosen in advance, and… I, sadly, haven’t heard that song often enough to learn it. I swear to you that, if resubmitted during our next tour, I shall fulfill your dreams to the best of my ability! I swear to you on my honor as a gentleman and a musician, I will learn that song in time! In the meantime, know that I shall do my best to make your dreams come true in every other way that I can. You have my sincerest apologies!”

((I really am sorry, anon, technically there weren’t supposed to be any requests, but totty was a little shit and took one orz I promise, there’s a 100% chance I’ll accept this the next time a tour comes up, which will hOPEFULLY BE HELLA SOON. have a billion hugpologies. 🍀Mod Clover))

Oh my dear Angel Karamatsu, I am blessed yet once again to see your astonishing handsome face and perfect body, and most hear that gracious melody of yours that your lips done. Oh how I wished I could touched it with my own, gently yet passionate enough, just like you deserve as a sweet taste of blue water granted by Canta exchanged from one to another of us, the lingering feeling making us wanting more as we part. Yet that won’t happen cause why the papers of your fate slashed such thing.

He’s trying to calm down. He really is. “I will do my best to supply you with more. I do believe that, in my haste to answer more of you, I all but forgot that I owe you all at least two more! Do forgive me, both for the lack of music and or the accursed contract keeping my soul so isolated– but at least take solace in the fact that I don’t plan to all down any time soon! I hope that that much will help to assuage the pain in your hearts, just as I’m hoping it will heal mine.”

Hello there Karamatsu! I’m glad you enjoyed the bath and candy things I gave you last time! I hope that they helped you relax and treat yourself a little. But I was wondering … um … when is your next live event going to be? Streaming is nice and all, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen you face to face and I miss that lovely aura of yours ✨

“Darling Daisy! You’ve returned!” Wiping his tears, one minute. “Yes, we’ve all adored the presents, and I am doing my best to make mine last for as long as possible! Every drop is an absolute treasure! I’m grateful to be able to thank you immediately– two moments of thanks in one!”

Karamatsu, you are truly a shimmering star blazing through the heavens. Roses bloom in your footsteps, angels sing whenever you speak, and the sweat and tears you shed in your hard work turn to diamonds. The butterflies inside me awaken and take flight whenever I so much as see your face. If this is truly what lovesickness is, I never want to be cured, for you’re the sweetest poison I’ve ever been exposed to. Just being acknowledged by you – even anonymously – would make my life complete!

“Oh, my little anonymous!” He’s forward and onto the desk again. “I’m not at all used to having such prose given to me instead of bursting forth from my heart toward others! Between my angelic anon and all of you, I’m sure that this much love shall sustain me forever! No matter what comes to pass, I know that I have been worthy of the words you’ve all been gracious enough to send and find my strength in any moment of despair!” His voice has gone high and wobbly with tears, and his cheeks have gone a deep pink. “I’m the luckiest man alive, I’m sure of it!”

Karamatsu, darling, you send me right over the blue moon! Your voice and your smile bring me so much happiness, I know I can get through the day whenever I think about you. But hearing and seeing you? That’s even better! There’s nothing I can say that will be enough to tell you how I really feel, but I will say this … Thank you for everything you do! With lots of love and blessings 💖

“The real blessing is the honor of having your attention!” He suddenly jolts back in his chair, hand clutching the fabric of his shirt. “Have I been pierced through the heart by a thousand arrows all at once?! Cupid’s typical planning has gone haywire, this is too much love for one man to bear!”

Karamatsu, my soul is a grand piano… My heart, the keys. Upon them you play a beautiful melody that resonates with my very being, expressing the never-ending love I have for you. Though we are parted by different worlds, the song will always continue to play in my heart, for I will always and forever be a Karamatsu girl~ 💙

And now the tears spilleth over. “Anonymous! My Karamatsu fans truly are the loveliest…!” Someone help this weepy mess of a man. “How a sinful man like myself managed to earn the affection of such angels is completely beyond my comprehension!” Pardon him, the glasses are off, and he’s putting a Ghibli protag to shame.

Oh Karamatsu, mine heart longs for thee, but I shalt stayeth hence for now. attend me, mine love, for one day I shalt beest able to meeteth thee, and one day showeth thee how much I truly love thee. I long for thee, mine lief, in more ways than one. ‘erhaps we shalt dance the dance of lovers in the moonlight as we maketh love to eachother, but all that, is for another day. Farewell, until then mine love.

Karamatsu laughs through the threat of tears. “This is absolutely delightful, anonymous! Truly a work of the heart that has touched my own with the elaborately embroidered glove of a wealthy Elizabethan theatergoer!”