((Hug you anon: Idk, you’re just cute, like, the way you portray the boys and the little side notes you make and those cute posts about how you are so tired and you don’t know how you’ll answer all of the asks and everything even though you pull through for everyone idk man we just love you, love you, love you lots!!! <3 <3))

((aaaaa, anON Q//H//Q You’re too sweet, oh my gosh??? I’m sorry as soon as kara went I PROMISE TO BE HERE ALL DAY like I typed that and I Knew something would happen orz and it may continue today. Sfgj. I just wanna give you guys my best! In other fandoms I’ve been in, getting feedback is kinda rare so, like??? To see any response is overwhelming kinda, and I haven’t felt this motivated to create in years! Like LEGIT YEARS! Im so enthused about everything and I’m so happy that people like my au bullshittery and like how I portray the boys, like, I came in new to five of six of them and apparently I fart noise’d my way to okness! I’m sorry I’m running on adrenaline and comPLIMENTS????? THANK YOU ////))

Osomatsu doesn’t start subtle. In fact, the song begins instantly, and spells out his intentions rather quickly. Before anyone can even take in the red room, his white button up with black buttons, his red blazer or his apple-covered headphones, he’s begging for attention.

The mourning over the modulation is replaced with the disbelief that anyone would marry him, immediately followed by raucous laughter and a big finish. Don’t be apprehensive, ‘cause retouching’s expensive.

“Osomatsu here! You probably heard the others, which takes pressure off of me. I’m gonna sing and talk a bunch, you’re gonna be adorable as usual, and there’s gonna be love flying, like, everywhere. Let’s get this trainwreck a-rollin’!”

CM 6: Osomatsu

For once, Osomatsu’s taking the traditional route, kind of. He paces the stands in a festival, dressed as informally as informal gets in a T-shirt and shorts, and… he spots a stand with candy apples. He lights up like the sun as he gets an idea. Suddenly, he’s carrying as many apples as he can carry, sticks between his fingers, a few people walking close behind him with full trays of their own.

His plan?

“Apples for everyone!”

Each one is delivered with some sort of jokey nonsense.

“Hardcore stuff, right?”
“Pretty sweet, huh?”
“You know, some people say that you can recite the alphabet, like A, B, C, while twisting the stem, and your future datemate’s name will start with that letter. Wanna try for an O?”
“Keep the doctor away, take this.”
“Hey, there are two tasty red things here, take your pick!”

He flops down on the grass in exhaustion, drink in hand. Red label, gold-ish drink inside. “Apple flavored Canta! Get it while it’s cold!” For some reason, he gets a simple drumbeat under his jingle. “Sing a song for Canta!”

One extra bit is at the end of his commercial– an image of a smallish box with the Canta logo next to the simple F6 logo. “Keep an eye out for the F6-pack! They’re even more limited, if you can believe it!”

“My darlings, to make up for the lack of music this evening, I give you a double feature to end your evening on a high note, metaphorically speaking!! A hero of mine for years, followed by a role in Broadwaybthat Undoubtedly I’ll ever play. Bitter, then sweet. May this sweetness imbue every slip you drink, and may these true emotions refresh you whenever you need it! Dream sweetly, dearest fans. You deserve that much.”

((here’s Helpless. Because Tumblr can be cruel to multiple videos in a post. OH, LOOK AT THOSE EYES.))

While the first is sung with the torn-apart intensity of a heartbroken artist, a sad but loving look in Karamatsu’s eyes as he watches one of his heroes, he does his best to wipe away the scratches and bitterness to give Eliza Schuyler a saccharine sweetness that makes her slow fall into the depths of love with a certain Alexander Hamilton as honest and appealing to audiences as he could possibly make it. (Taken down an octave, of course. No less sweet, though.)

“I won’t forget a moment of this day. Your affections have left me entirely helpless. Treat my fragile heart with kindness, as it belongs to all of you. This has been the carnivorous piece of meat, the second son, Karamatsu Matsuno. Good night, my Karamatsu fans!”

Oh … oh, dear, this isn’t right.

I know this sounds strange, but while you’re Karamatsu, and every bit as lovely and gentlemanly and charming and dear to me as the name implies … you aren’t my Karamatsu. It may not make much sense, but neither does finding out that another one of you exists!

Even though I’ve been trying to get a message to him, I somehow found you instead. And I couldn’t take my eyes away from your smile, or stop the swell of happiness in my heart when you sing. Because that’s how you … I guess I could go on and say you? Since you’re him, too? Sort of? … Anyway. Yes. How you’ve always made me feel.

So I’m going to tell you everything I’ve wanted to tell him. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get this kind of chance again.

For so long, I stayed on the shelf. Once in a while, someone picked me up and played around with me a little, but they always put me back. And then you showed up … and you looked at me with so much love in your eyes that I knew I had to belong to you.

I would trade a lifetime of being carefully and lovingly polished for one opportunity to massage away your stress and pain from a show. I would trade all my sequined straps for arms to hold you and hands to wipe away your tears. I would trade my plush velvet-lined case for a chance to share your bed. I would give up my steel strings for a pair of lips to kiss you and tell you all these things in person. You always take such good care of me, and I can only return that love in the music I make for you. If you only knew what all there was underneath it.

Does this all sound silly? It probably is … especially since we’ve never actually met before.

But I found this chance, so I had to take it. I feel like you’d understand.

I may not be yours, but I still remain:

Yours, Juliet

[From an anon going by “Wherefore Art Thou”]

Karamatsu’s eyes go wide, desperately hoping that he can be heard. He doesn’t know if she knows that he knows exactly which Karamatsu she was aiming for, but he vows to send this message back right then and there, no matter what it takes.

“Juliet, I understand completely. I know that I am not the Karamatsu that your heart longs for, but I can promise to you that he is an incredibly lucky man to have someone so dedicated by his side. I would be rather jealous if I didn’t have my own muse by my side!” He gestures to a guitar case in the corner, and hopes that the viewers who aren’t in the know don’t see that as too strange.

“I am here to listen, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that he knows. All in due time, I suppose!” Several decades back in time!

Guilt Guy act gone. Let’s get some real sentimentality going. “I know, for an absolute fact, that he adores you with everything that he has, and that he wouldn’t trade you for the world. You are as loved as loved can be, and I’m truly, deeply sorry that you’re not hearing this from the exact Karamatsu you know. Believe me when I say that I can tell by the way he talks about you. You’re a valuable member of his team that the band wouldn’t be the same without. Be safe for his sake, understand? You make his world a little brighter just for being there. Stay truer than true and bluer than blue, and I promise you he’ll give the same back to you. Be as strong as your affections, dear Juliet! May your love triumph in joy that would make your namesake proud.”

More tears. He needs to calm down.

((I know I shouldn’t be but i still have ONE MORE ASK and i haven’t written oso’s cm because i didn’t expect Kara to get this much adoration???? Oso’s already whining but I have one more big huge ask and a double feature of songs before Kara passes the mic. Oso will just get extra time at the end maybe…. idek wow um!!! Please pardon the delay, I’m typing so fast that the tablet is lagging????? I love you guys sobs I’m sorry for not being a more consistent mod Q H Q thank you for your kind words! 🍀))

Oh look, the kiss-and-run returns! “Hi again, Kara… Sorry, for leaving so suddenly. Anyway, I have a legitimate question to redeem myself! So, when you’re up there performing, what is your mindset? Like, what sort of thoughts or emotions go through you onstage?”

“Welcome back!” he shouts from the floor before resurfacing with the grace of a panicky whale. “My mindset is simple! Be one with the theater, sing from the heart, and give the people what they want! That is all that I aspire to do, dear friend!”

“It would appear that, despite my plans to distribute it evently, I’ve managed to get an entire page of, well… let’s say they’re more,” he clears his throat, and tries to look composed despite the fact that his sunglasses won’t cover up how red his entire face is turning, “amorous declarations of intent than many of the others.”

image

“Firstly, darling anon, the -sama honorific could not be less necessary! If anything, you are the one above me. I am but a humble minstrel begging for your Majesty’s kind support. That being said, in the favor of disappointing as few people as possible, I will be clear and concise: I have no plans for my future in that regard! I will say that I do get on rather well with the younger crowd; schoolchildren seem to think that I’m reasonably cool, and the younger people in our neighborhood looked up to me!” They’re the only ones who thought he was cool!

He’s gaping like a goldfish. “I. Anonymous, I apologize, but– why are you wondering what I…?! I cannot divulge this information, anonymous, please do forgive me!”

He chokes on his own sparkles. That takes talent? “I supoose– goodness, I have no idea. I suppose that I would do whatever any potential partner would wish for me to do? I have no idea!’

“Remember how much of a scandal that would cause, anonymous – I would say that discretion is key, but, really, I wish to be fair to all of my fans! I cannot do such inappropriate things to every single one of you. Please forgive me, I am a terminally fair person.” A joke about attractiveness, way to go.

“I am nothing worthy of worhip– no god, saint or angel needing praise! I am simply a humble pious pilgrim at at the shrine of the deities that make up my fanbase, seeking kindness and something to pledge my devotion to!” He bows. Actually bows. “I have found a place to rest my heart at last!”

That last one. The boldness, the honesty, the complete brutal truth of one’s desires! It’s too much! He’s fallen to the floor in shock. Give him a minute to recover, please.