The usual morning talk show actor lineup on this set is getting a brief switch up, one that requires a lot of subtitles.

The highly caffeinated hosts perch atop their seats, smiles sunny and stage lights blinding.

“Next up, we have a boy band from Japan! Originally starring in comics in 1962, and a TV series not long after, now they’re a viral sensation with a music video that debuted in March which hit six million views this morning! Please welcome to the stage, F6!”

Amid the pleasantly confused cheers from the audience, the boys come out from backstage, dressed in new outfits all clearly labeled with a number somewhere on their shirt. They’re all their own special kind of excited, all handing out high fives to the people right in front. As the clapping dies down, the six hand a few small boxes to the hosts.

Choromatsu is the one who speaks up, and the seemingly magical subtitles do their thing, “Since we’re really happy to be here, and you guys are the first people in America to interview us, we wanted to bring some kind of gifts. In there are a few big handfuls of limited edition Kit-Kats that they don’t have in America, some hachimaki you can usually only get at our shows, and some copies of our new single. We’re all excited to be here, thank you for having us!” Elbows are jabbed into sides, and the six bow before they settle into their seats. Once the gifts are admired and headbands are tied on (one as a tie? Which works, they’re​ amused), the interview proper begins.

“So, what’s it like being the first toon musical act with such a big viral smash?” The audience whoops after that question, and the boys are ridiculously pleased.

“Well, first off, all due respect,” Osomatsu says, hands up in front of him, “the classics had no minute to minute viewcounter, compared to Disney and Looney Tunes, we’re friggin’ amateurs when it comes to being singing, dancing toons. But to have an impact this big after our last big time in the spotlight was the late eighties? It feels really good! We’re super proud of finally doing something with ourselves as adults.”

“As adults, I see, since you used to be ‘Osomatsu-kun,’ and stayed that way until just recently.”

Hums of agreement, followed by Jyuushimatsu speaking up. “Yeah, we’ve been kids twice, and I think we were forty a few times? Like, whatever we’re supposed to be, we are! I guess our plot now is that we’re gonna be twentysomethings who actually can do this performer thing kinda good, and we love it!” He pumps both hands in the air with a cheer, and he goes a bit sparkly eyed when the audience cheers back.

“So this is your first time on TV in the United States, right?”

Ichimatsu decides to take this one, knowing the answer won’t be long “Yeah, it is. We’re usually just a footnote, like ‘this is an old cartoon that happened, Fujio Akatsuka does good comedy, and then more things happened…” he waves a hand and trails off.

“What’s it like, moving from comedy to music?”

Karamatsu speaks up, and the others struggle to look politely pleased. “Actually, a comedic base helps greatly when it comes to most performance arts! Slapstick assists in our speed and physicality, telling jokes helps with speaking or singing quickly and remembering timing, and making it work on screen helps us stay conscious of staging and what formations we land in. I’m not saying that it made for a perfectly smooth transition, but that background makes learning new things go a bit more easily.”

Choromatsu looks amazed. “That was actually really insightful, I’m kind of shocked.”

A host laughs, “Is this not normal?”

He forgets where he is and nearly shouts, “Of course not, they’re all idiots!”

After a moment of hesitation, Osomatsu shrugs. “It’s true.”

Jyuushimatsu nods, “We’re stupid!”

After a second of laughter from the hosts, because they didn’t expect that answer, “So what else are you doing over here?”

Todomatsu takes over immediately. “We’re doing a few anime and comic conventions, actually! We’ve spent the last couple weeks going across the country and doing little sets, and we have a few more coming up– can you put the dates on the screen?” The hosts laugh as he takes control of the show for a second, not waiting for approval at all. “So you can see us there, get in some meet and greet time before we get even bigger, and we’ve got a few more TV appearances over the next week or so! Keep an eye out for us, we love our stateside audience so much! Thank you!” A little kiss and a wink right into the camera, the boy is slick and sly and he knows it.

“Very cute,” a host says warily. He jumps on the compliment like a starving hyena.

“Aww, thank you! It sets me apart, so that’s always nice.” His brothers are already jeering.

“One last question: we heard you’re going to do one of your songs on here today,” audience whooping, “is there anything you want to let us know about that?”

Choromatsu finally has an answer. “We’re not the usual love song type, so even when it comes to sappy, sweet things, we add our own twists to them! This one took a while to choreograph, but we’re proud of the result,” he says like they planned the steps, “and we hope you all like it too!”

“Weirdly enough,” Osomatsu interjects, “the hardest part was not using hand mics. We’ve got head ones, it’s actually kind of cool having both hands free!”

Karamatsu pulls something out from behind him, strapping it over his jeans.

“Hang on, what is that?”

He seems to sparkle with pride. “A kneepad!” He lifts his knee up a tad, the pad spangled with small skulls and stars. “It is very important, you will see why when we begin! You can’t miss it!”

“I’m a little scared,” one of the hosts says, laughing with a hint of worry.

“We won’t damage the set!” Jyuushimatsu says.

“When you say that, it sounds a little like you’re convincing yourself,” Ichimatsu says with a tiny smile.

“We put a lot of effort into this,” Totty says, scrambling to get another comment in, “So we hope you have fun watching it!”

“When we come back, F6’s first performance on American television, we’ll be right back!”

During the commercial break, they realize the word “sex,” when devoid of illicit context, can be said on American television without being bleeped.

It ends with the audience chanting with them.

Maybe they can get away with posting that clip online sometime.