Choromatsu’s still on, so he’s first. “Hm. I got Belphegor and Sloth, and… well! I don’t really think it suits me at all! I was hardworking before all of this, but now that I’m living a dream I never thought was for me? I’m giving my all, every day! I don’t have time to be lazy, but sometimes I wish I did!” (So many groans about him rising. It almost overtakes Choro speaking.)

“Mmm… I got Lust and Asmodeus,” Todomatsu says, legs crossed, “but I don’t know if it fits me that much. I mean, yeah, I have my wants and stuff, who doesn’t? Even if you don’t like,” he whispers, “intimate things, when it isn’t a lust for people, it’s a lust for adventure, for food, for stuff like that! So I guess I do fit it? But I wonder, is this outfit more likely to inspire it than show I have it~?” Oh, you sly little shit. “Jyuushimatsu-niisan, your trilby’s crooked.”

Jyuushimatsu fixes his hat. “Um. I got Mammon for Greed? I dunno if it fits me! I feel like gluttony would suit me more, but maybe that’s just because I’m really hungry right now, aha! But. I get to look super cool, so it’s ok with me to be greedy for a little bit! I’m gonna gather up all my fans and swim in ‘em like I’m in the old opening for Ducktales!”

Osomatsu’s just kind of. Kicking his feet, swing swing. “I got Wrath? And I’m Satan, which is fun. I’m the one everybody mentions when someone’s an asshole, which is appropriate. Uhhhhh, I think it kinda does fit me? I mean, I’m not just gonna smack people around for jollies or whatever, I just don’t like me or the people I care about getting messed with. You mess with my people, you mess with me!”

“I got Envy. Leviathan.” Ichimatsu picks at his nails. “I guess, kinda? I mean. I dunno, I kinda want some of the good traits in other people that I don’t have. I don’t really want many physical things, the good stuff is wasted on me. But, I dunno, ‘if I could have so-and-so’s lack of anxiety or what’s-their-face’s ability to talk to people without making themself sound stupid’ pops up in my head a lot.”

Oh, now Kara’s in a paint me like your French girls pose on his motorcycle. “I am a glutton for many things. For love, for happiness, for beauty… some say I’m a glutton for punishment, but! I will admit, I tend to be a bit indulgent.” A-wink. “I am a man of many sins, dear viewers. I hope for your forgiveness!”

Osomatsu snorts. “Holy shit, dude, nice.” High five, hesitantly shared. “And aren’t you the one Queen namedrops, too?”

“Exactly! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me!”

Jyuushimatsu hollers like a man possessed. “MERCURYYYYYYYYYY!!!” Whoops. The primary color boys have a rather boisterous, aggressive singalong for a bit. (The others, despite their initial protests, do either join in or play air instrumentation. It’s fun.)

Oh, Choro’s found a good use for those bangs. He’s hiding behind them with a giggle. “That’s what they’re famous for, right? Romantic rides with someone you care about?” He scoffs, psssssh. “And you all said me having a Vespa was lame! I get to sit comfortably, and I was the first to be asked for a ride!”

With no hesitation, Osomatsu speaks. “If I say ‘Red Rocket,’ will anyone really be surprised or disappointed?”

Totty frowns. “Surprised, no. Disappointed? Always.” He shrugs, “I still don’t know what to name mine. All I know is I look nice on it!”

Choromatsu frowns. “I’ve just been calling it ‘my Vespa.’ Should I name it? It isn’t even technically ours once the shoot is done.”

Jyuushimatsu hops on his, making revving noises. “I call mine the Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr!!”

Ichimatsu shrugs, flopping down to lay on his.

“I’ve named mine Oberon! Nothing less than kingly for my ride, of course!” Karamatsu says, looking forward as if he’s actually riding.

“Hey, photoshoot people, will the owner of his motorcycle be mad if we tip his over?” Ichimatsu raises his head, holding up a finger. “Just once?

Jyuushimatsu barely restrains his laughter.

“None of us?” Osomatsu laughs. “Believe me, if we could ride motorcycles without, like… The mandatory gag show havoc and chaos, you’d never see Karamatsu off of his!”

Jyuushi leans in, “Then how would we nag Iyami into driving us places? It’d shake the structure of the company to its core, I tell ya! There’d be rioting in the streets!”

“Babies crying, people screaming, dear Akatsuka, Iyami would have time to himself! What would he even do during that time? Reflect on himself?” Vigorous headshaking, followed by Jyuushiko poking a hand into frame with a comb. “Unforgivable. We can’t, it’s our civic duty.”

captainsnoop:

oh and i don’t wanna hear “it’s just anime it’s not real who cares” from any of you because that’s not a valid argument 

yes, anime is not real, but anime contributes to the real-life normalization of the sexualization of minors

you can already see the consequences of this happening. the rurouni kenshin author got busted for possession of real child pornography and you know what happened to him? a 5,000 dollar fine and a warm welcome back to his old job. dude paid the fine and went right back to work. 

no jail, no loss of his job, no ostracisation in the industry. he paid a fine and went back to work. 

because in his line of work, that sort of thing is normal, and nobody paid it any mind 

you can’t oppose real-life pedophilia and ephebophilia and then look the other way when it’s “just anime.” saying it’s “just anime” makes the whole mess that little bit more normal, more socially acceptable. and then eventually people get busted for having real illegal porn and nobody cares enough to fire them. real kids are getting hurt and nothing’s getting done about it because the cartoons are making it normal. 

that’s happening right now because people scoff and say “it’s just anime” even when the consequences of that attitude are right there to behold. 

that’s why it matters. stop making excuses.