Let Matsunatsumatsuri II begin!

The weather right now is a nice reprieve from the recent oppressive heat; overcast but no rain, no lightning, the heat still present but not unbearable. Bad lighting but good weather for an open air venue! Pack your sunscreen and dress light, because these two concerts are out in the open.

This delights no one more than our dear self declared Master of Ceremonies.

After the introductory music’s final notes fade away, there’s a whirring from somewhere unseen. From the large stage extends a pathway, and a second medium-sized stage rested at its end, in the middle of the audience. The audience was seated around these, and those in the middle are delighted to feel something stirring beneath the surface.

Someone is slowly raised up from beneath the stage, and… everyone’s very confused, to say the least. Some pictures of this very strange person were stick around the venue; giving a thumbs up inside the ticket window, sprawled across the top of the soda machine in the concession stand, poking out from behind posters. He looks a bit different as he begins parading around the secondary stage, his promo-image swim flippers traded out for sandals, his tan seemingly gone. With hands on his hips, the mystery man assesses the situation. There’s some tense, uncomfortable laughter from the audience as his gaze sweeps across the audience, back to the stage, up at sky overhead.

He nods resolutely, letting loose with a delighted holler.

“60,000 SUMMER!”

Summer Kamen has arrived, and he’s making up for a certain someone’s loss in the recent popularity polls with a vengeance.

“Tell me, everyone; have you been enjoying your summer to the fullest?” He puts a hand to the side of his sunny mask. This gesture gets him no reply. “Perhaps you don’t understand why I’m here.” He laughs. “You don’t need to understand! But, as an act of scorching-hot mercy, allow me to explain.” Summer Kamen twirls his microphone, holding it back up to his cardboard covered face, accidentally bonking himself in the process. Ok, there’s a laugh.

“The name’s Summer Kamen! Every year when summer rolls around, I walk around town looking for summer, inject it with even more summer, and watch everyone enjoy summer even more while I enjoy the rest of summer. This is my goal, and this is my season! Thank you!”

He does garner a few cheers for that (although it could just be because he did a rather showy twirl and a bow, towel cape flying up, and wow that speedo is small. Somewhere offstage, Todoko panics over if the fashion tape will hold it all securely).

“I’ll be popping in from time to time, dear audience, just to make sure that you all are making the most of one of the most summer-filled things of all: a midsummer concert!” He punches the air, and the audience lets out a still somewhat baffled yell.

He chuckles. “Now, I must ask again: have you been enjoying your summer?!” The audience cheers a little cautiously. “What was that? I can’t hear you!” The audience shouts, and a bright, sunny synthesizer riff blares over the speakers.

He backs away to the center of the stage, cackling. “Allow us to assist you in enjoying your summer even more! Arise, my friends!“

((The sound reference for this is Seishun Karadadadash! by Band Ja Naimon! Specifically, the live version right here. But here’s the studio version, should you want it. Also, the outfits to keep in mind are from the “This Year, We’ll Finally…” sketch from Osomatsu-san in the Summer, and the sunglasses are from Maboroshi Wink.))

The remaining five brothers spring up from trap doors beneath the center stage, leaping up into the air with a cheer before running around the perimeter of the stage, waving to the audience and beckoning them to cheer. All of them are clad in matsu-print swim trunks, each with sunglasses over their eyes. As they run, there’s a clamor in the middle of the stage. That sun mask goes flying, the towel cape not long after, and two quiet band-aid like rips followed by a scream and the sun and moon decals flying in the air. As the other five come to a stop, Karamatsu is finally present, hastily tugging on his trunks and hat just barely in time to join in.

This song is nothing short of playful: these boys have their sunglasses on because they’re babewatching. They’re absolutely surrounded, and they’re kind of loving it. Choromatsu can’t believe they’re getting away with it, but the others quickly hush him so he won’t jinx the whole situation. Talk about it too much, and the gods of comedy will make this suck, so be cool!

The other brothers get a little antsy, because wow. This person is cute. Top to bottom, they’re a work of art, and it’s a bit intimidating. Karamatsu is quick to remind them that staying calm and collected is key.

They’re staying calm, they totally can play it cool, Jyuushimatsu says. Osomatsu asks which of them is going to go over and talk to them.

There’s a lot of anxious finger twiddling and fidgeting during the bass solo after that.

Ichimatsu will go– no, hell no he won’t.

Totty could– he needs a strategy first.

Choromatsu remarks that idiots sure are amazing. Jyuushimatsu immediately chimes in, because hey, he’s not stupid!

They’re worried that going after anyone will end badly, but the excitement is almost over taking that. One pieces, two pieces, Speedos and trunks on every side, it’s fun but scary for them! How are they supposed to do it without choking? Normal people have power beyond comprehension! Having the guts isn’t happening. Their nerve is gone. But how else is this beach trip supposed to be worth it? They’ve got to do it, right? Right!

They’re supposed to be keeping cool with their shaved ice and ice cream, but all Osomatsu’s thinking about is how plump these folks all look. That’s not helping them stay calm at all! What might help, however, is thinking about their approaches. For most of these boys, that answer is simple:

They’re not gonna say anything. Not gonna move, not gonna ask them out, there’s no point! Jyuushimatsu just waggles his big old innertube and says he’s gonna swim. But not near cute people, he might forget to breathe. Totty mentions trading social media could work. Osomatsu confesses that he still doesn’t know how to work the Tweeters. Karamatsu cries that the sunbeams piercing the sky have scorched his very heart! Ichimatsu yowls in pain, and Choromatsu gets him back on topic.

Maybe they have a chance after all? If those other dudes can do it, so can they! Guys and gals and folks and ocean lie all around: why not give it a shot? (It’s scary, duh.) But it still remains an enticing option! Their hearts are burning as hot as the sand! Like one two three, it’ll be no biggie. It’s like ripping off a bandage, right? But that hurts. Like getting stung by a bee? Even worse! Come to think of it, that’s too scary, never mind!

They’ll just wait and bide their time. Wait for someone to approach them. Summer romances are too brief, anyway. They repeat this little mantra to themselves until Totty mentions that he has an idea. Karamatsu declares that he’s willing to try again, and the others huddle up. Just as he notices, they break the huddle, and a dance break ensues. Just as the stomping’s done, all of them have found their resolve again.

They’ve got something special next to no one else has, and that’ll serve them well. They’ll run in as a group, draw folks in, and that’ll hopefully give them a way in. Plus, everything seems less scary when they all rush in together. The odds feel a little safer when it’s six against the world instead of one. They’ll make it, and they’re certain it’ll work! It’s too special to waste! They’ll find a special person to spend this summer day with!

…Or will it? They’ll try it anyway!